Think vision statements are only for corporations? Think again. A lot of what we do is structured around what we believe and want our family to be.

At the start of every year, I pull out a blank sheet of paper and some markers, sit down and evaluate where we are heading as a family and where we want to go.

Sounds corporate? But planning doesn’t have to be reserved for the dotcoms and startups. Families too could benefit from brainstorming webs.

Oftentimes, we want our families to achieve something or make progress in some areas, but simply don’t know where to start.

START WITH A VISION

What are the important values you would like to inculcate as a family? Where do you see your family in the next 10-20 years?

Start by identifying the values, then breaking them down into actionable, practical, day-to-day living.

For many parents, “academic success”, giving their children a “wide variety of experiences so they can fulfil their potential” and achieving “financial security” are important to them.

So, from an early age, children are laden with enrichment classes ranging from phonics to gym, swimming to piano, in a bid to give their kids a headstart in life. What we do often reflects our values.

But I'd like to ask parents to think beyond just grades and numbers and ponder intangible goals that will help children mature into adults who will make a positive difference in the world.

Perhaps you’d like to “have a loving and generous family that is relationally connected and serves the community”.

Breaking it down further, practical steps might look like this: having family and friends over for a meal at least once a month; teaching kids to give away toys that are still in good condition to the less fortunate, or volunteering to do food distribution to the needy during the holidays.

Once, my daughter received two huge beading sets for her birthday and wondered what she could do with it. I suggested that she make some bracelets to sell and raise funds for a voluntary welfare organisation helping young single mothers.

My daughter was thrilled and carried out the task diligently. We shared our cause with friends and family and managed to raise several hundred dollars. It was not a huge sum, but I believe the bigger lesson was for her to realise she could make a difference in the lives of other people through her own small ways.

If “a healthy lifestyle” is important to you, breaking the value down into practical steps would look like planning meals and filling the grocery cart with lots of fruit and vegetables, for example.

For our family, we limit screen time to about an hour daily, and institute at least an hour of outdoor play downstairs daily when the weather permits. We try to swim once a week. A friend of mine goes trekking as a family with her five-year-old every weekend.

By dissecting our vision to reachable goals and making daily choices, we can have a positive influence on our children as they grow up over the years.

THE TIMING MUST BE RIGHT

Sometimes the goals you want to tackle may be smaller, such as “get children to sleep in their own rooms” or, “potty-train the toddler”.

For sleep and potty training, timing is often key. Personally my own kids really only learnt to sleep through the night without waking after they became toddlers, when they could be sleep trained with minimal fuss and crying, and could understand instructions.

I know many babies who can be sleep trained as infants, however. Do remember that what is right for others may not be right for your family, and it’s okay!

I always say, if at first you fail, take a break and try again. Sometimes the child is simply not ready. When I tried to potty-train my middle born (usually during the school holidays) at 2.5 years of age, he simply wasn’t ready and kept wetting himself.

Instead of getting frustrated or punishing him, I simply decided to try again after six months. By the time he was 3 years old, it took me less than a week to ensure he was diaper-free. As for night diaper training, I started much later at around age 5.

Bear in mind that there’s an age range, and if you try to wean your child early, off breastmilk or diapers, and it’s not working out even after persisting for two weeks or more, perhaps it’s better to try again at another time.

If everything I said flew over your head and all you’re thinking is: “What vision and mission? Goal setting? I can’t even get up in the mornings. I am barely surviving” – that’s okay too.

Families go through seasons — warmths and colds, summers and winters. There’s a season for planning, and there’s a season for surviving. But families that plan and prep in summer can better survive the winter.

Sophia Huang is a mother of three, copy editor and children’s book author. She believes that children learn best through play and should spend as much time as possible outdoors. She is passionate about upcycling trash into toys for children and records her journey at Nature Playtime and Craftcycle For Kids on Facebook and Instagram.

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